My Authentic Self

Confession: I have never been good at holding my tongue, and even those times that I manage to, my face usually gives me away. I believe that honesty is the best policy, which as it turns out, is a big plus when it comes to social media. As I write posts for this blog, you can be assured that I am speaking from my own life experiences as a way to honour my passion and dedication to the breast cancer cause and for my personal and professional growth. I am not doing this as part of my work and am not being paid for any content that I share. It is my choice to contribute where I can and any information I share will be factual to the best of my knowledge and all opinions will be my own.

I want to conduct myself in such a manner that I build trust and a lasting relationship with those of you who follow along and I know that will require a level of transparency (and courage!) that social media demands of me, as it does of any person or organization who uses social media.

While taking a look at the information out there around transparency and social media,  I have come up with a few of the most important pieces:

1. You must be an active participant willing to share information and listen to others. I appreciated the analogy in this blog post comparing social media relationships with creepy first dates. I completely agree that when you feel someone is misleading you, manipulating the truth, or withholding information you can not build a successful relationship.  It is my hope, through this blog, to engage in meaningful conversations and relationship building. What chance do I have to "back the girls" if no one trusts me or the information I am trying to share? In my work life in the non profit sector, I believe that transparency is of upmost importance. Our stakeholders are volunteers, donors, advocates and many who are/were living with breast cancer and their families. We want to share information and we want to know what they are talking about. We want to be part of those conversations for many reasons.

Loved the quote in this blog "But now, conflicts and conversations do not take place behind closed office doors. They play out in real time on many different social media platforms. Believing you can contain these conversations is dangerous and impossible. The best way to deal with these conversations happening online is to publicly participate."

2. Have a genuine reason for the content you are sharing not a self serving gimmick. One type of activity that has always made me question a company's/individual's motives are those that say "Like this post to show your commitment to eradicating breast cancer" or "Like this page and comment with the colour of bra you are wearing". How do either of those things help the breast cancer cause? Does this interaction build a relationship of any sort? Have you clicked "Like" or posted the colour of your bra as your FB status in the name of breast cancer awareness? Did you feel connected to the company by doing so?

3. Be mindful and respectful. Even though honesty is my policy, it has its limits - just as honesty or transparency does in social media. Companies and individuals need to be cognizant of any confidentiality issues as well as be sensitive to issues that may be difficult for the majority of your audience to read or interpret.

Promise: I promise to be truthful while hopefully sharing some valuable information with you and I hope that you trust me enough to follow along this journey with me. It should be one heck of a ride!

Allow Me to Introduce Myself...

I was just 12 years old the first time I heard the words “breast cancer”.  I had no idea what breast cancer would mean for my family and although I understood that my mother was sick, I always, always thought she’d get better. I was just 16 when my mother passed away from this disease.  

My mom and I a few years before her diagnosis.

After my mother's death one of the most difficult things for me was feeling powerless.  I knew I had to do something but since I wasn’t very good in the science department (understatement of the year) I figured I would have to leave it up to someone else to find a cure. 

Then at the age of twenty, just 4 years after losing my mom to breast cancer, I discovered a lump in my right breast.  I have never been more terrified.  All I really knew about breast cancer then was that it ended my mother’s life. Thankfully, a biopsy determined that the lump was benign and it was removed. It wasn’t long after that I began to realize that although I couldn’t single handedly find the cure, I could be a part of the force behind finding one and I began to participate in the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation CIBC Run for the Cure.  This was a life changing moment for me. Participating in the Run offered me something I didn’t have before – a feeling of taking action.  I was no longer sitting idly by waiting to see if my story would be like my mother’s.  I encouraged friends and family to join and we began raising funds. Over the years we have raised tens of thousands of dollars for breast cancer.

Seven years ago my son was born and nothing could have prepared me for the rollercoaster of emotions I would feel not having my mother there.  I knew I would be sad but this was so much more than that – I came undone. I was plagued by thoughts of “what if what happened to my mom happens to me”.  I couldn’t imagine not getting to see my son grow up. I decided I needed to be more involved in the cause and became the volunteer Vancouver Run Director for the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation CIBC Run for the Cure.  My experience as a volunteer Run Director was more therapeutic than any amount of therapy ever could be. 

Pamela Martin interviewing me about my story.

This past August marked the 24th anniversary of my mother’s death.  So much more is known now about breast cancer – the importance of prevention, early detection and awareness.  I often wonder what my mom would think of how far we have come since her breast cancer diagnosis over 20 years ago.  I can only hope that she knows the role she has played in inspiring me to do all I can against this disease and that she is proud of all that has been accomplished so far, of all that I have accomplished so far.

I am 40 years old now and when my mom was this age she was sick.  And dying.  I have always thought she died young but to be that age now gives me more perspective and it breaks my heart. 

Three years ago I was hired by a national breast cancer charity as the Community Relations Specialist and I get to do a job I love while honoring my mom every day.  I work hard each day to ensure that my son, and now my 4 year old daughter, grow up never knowing what it is like to lose their mother to breast cancer.